Blog

Creating Rapport and Therapeutic Benefit through Movement, Music, and Meditation

Presented by: Leah Smith, Judaic Program Supervisor, Certified Snoezelen Trainer, Reiki Master

Tamir Foundation Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Often people with disabilities find it challenging to make meaningful connections to the environment around them and to make sense of what they experience within; this can provoke feelings of stress, anxiety, fear, confusion and isolation. The lack of connection for an individual can lead to sensory imbalances, which can result in aggressive outbursts, self injurious behaviour and depression, particularly for people that do not have language skills to communicate their needs and desires. This essay demonstrates that people with developmental disabilities can attain great therapeutic benefit by participating in movement, music and meditation exercises, thereby assisting individuals to make essential connections with the external environment as well as their inner thoughts, feelings, and body sensations.

Presented in this essay are a variety of simple techniques that can enhance what is already being done to facilitate sensory integration for adults and children with disabilities. These techniques are very accessible and can be practiced in or outside of a Snoezelen Multisensory Environment, to be shared with one person at a time or with a group. However, in order to provide these therapeutic benefits, it is necessary to first examine how sensory imbalances occur, and, how to create rapport with your clients.

Sensory Imbalances

Important information about the physical world is obtained through the senses. Sensory imbalances can result from over stimulation, under stimulation, or simply the wrong kind of stimulation. It is through a process of trusting the information from the senses that a person knows when they are safe with someone or something. To facilitate sensory integration, it is important to discover the sensory preferences of an individual. Using keen observation you can notice what a person is attracted to and identify actions, activities or items that make the person feel safe. If something is not working, then try another technique. Be patient and experiment; once the sensory preferences of the individual are established, choose the movement, music and meditation techniques that will best suit the individual.

Techniques for creating rapport

In order to gain maximum benefit from movement, music and meditation it is necessary to first establish rapport with the individual or group. Rapport is essentially about making connections that are meaningful to the individual; this can pave the way for assisting people with developmental disabilities to come back to their senses and be fully present in the moment. Below are a variety of techniques to assist practitioners in creating rapport with the participants they serve.

Silence

Some individuals may prefer to simply be in the silence together; it is through non action that you will be able to find a way into their world. It is useful not to focus on outcomes – allow therapeutic benefit without focusing on therapeutic content. Being open minded and flexible can lead you to the discovering what will work best for the individual.

Voice

Be aware of the tone, pitch, volume, and speed of speech. Slow, low tones are soothing and can easily put a person at ease.

Eye Contact

Direct eye contact can draw a person in or scare them away; find the right balance, such as a soft gaze rather than a fixed one. Talking about things the person is looking at may also help to create rapport and open communication.

Body Language

Maintain a non-assuming, open posture; be welcoming in a gentle non-forceful way. Sometimes unpredictable movements can catch a person off guard in a good way; be open and friendly yet non invasive. Use simple expressions and movements and provide a lot of space and room to breathe.

Matching and mirroring

When used with respect, matching and mirroring can be a very effective technique for creating rapport. In its simplest form matching and mirroring is about copying the body language, actions, hand gestures, sounds, and speech patterns of an individual which creates a connection with that person. For best results do this in a subtle way so that it happens at an unconscious level.

Movement

Movement is essential to good health and well being. It can renew the vital life energy in the body and stimulate the neurotransmitters in the brain that send messages to the various systems in the body responsible for respiration, digestion, circulation, immune function and fine and gross motor control. Further, movement stimulates brain chemistry and facilitates healthy functioning, and encourages the body to perform as a whole unit rather than individual parts. Other benefits include an overall decrease in stress. It is important that the physical activity be enjoyable and tailored to each individual’s needs and abilities, thereby fostering success and increases in self-esteem.
It is useful to do a variety of movements from different vantage points; standing movements will encourage balance and posture, sitting down movements allows the freedom of not having to hold the body upright, and lying down supports the entire body so that all of the joints can be totally mobilized.

Body Balls are excellent props for movement with individuals of all levels of ability and disability. These versatile lightweight balls come in a variety of colors and sizes and can be used while standing up, sitting or laying down. Activities can include playing catch, rolling, hugging, slapping, or kicking the ball, which can create a lot of excitement for individuals that are under stimulated. Another simple activity is sitting on the ball and jumping or bouncing up and down. All of these approaches help to get the body moving, and increase circulation and cardiovascular health.

Some individuals have set repetitive patterns for walking, pacing, rocking, or flapping; it can be very beneficial to go with the flow of their movement. Sometimes these movements are a persons coping strategy for stress; the rhythmic nature of the movements is soothing and gives an individual a focal point for moving energy through their body. Going with the flow of movement and then encouraging the movement to exaggerate beyond the normal pattern can break the cycle and help elicit a relaxation response.

Putting music on and encouraging the individual or group to move around the room is a very simple approach that everyone can follow. Encourage participants to follow their bodies, instruct them to move around the room the way their bodies like to move; this approach can be very enlivening for everyone. People with limited mobility can derive great enjoyment and therapeutic benefit from letting their body lead the way.

Playing games is also a useful movement technique. For example, play charades by moving around the room imitating animals and have the participants follow along. ‘Simon Says’ is another effective way to get the group to follow your lead. Practitioners may give simple directions such as reach for the sky, curl up like a ball, stand at attention like a guard, hold your arms out like an airplane, reach over and try to pick something up off the ground, or pretend to sit down on a chair while standing.

Matching and mirroring can also be used as a movement technique – copy the rhythms of the person while they rock, pace, shake, swing, jump, etc. Once you have created rapport with the individual, try doing a variety of simple slow movements that promote relaxation and body awareness and encourage the individual to follow you. Overall, it is useful to change the pace at which people move from slow motion to exaggerated movements, or move quickly, speeding up the heart rate and providing good aerobic exercise. Movement in one part of the body at a time is beneficial as well as symmetrical movement i.e. shaking both wrists, bending both knees, and shaking the whole body at the same time.

More able individuals can benefit from a structured approach. Demonstrate simple movements or postures and allow individuals to stay in the positions for a few moments or longer if they are comfortable. A caregiver can demonstrate simple movements that the participants can learn and do at home at their leisure.

The movement techniques presented above are both structured and free flowing. They can be modified to suit every level of ability, and can be enjoyed individually or in a group, and either in a day program setting or at home. Everyone can derive tremendous pleasure, and receive therapeutic benefit from these gentle movement exercises.

Music

Everyone has a right to enjoy sensory stimulation that is pleasing to the senses, and this will differ for each individual. Although it may appear that people with disabilities do not have very developed tastes, when it comes to sensory preferences they can be connoisseurs. Music is a basic sensory stimulation that has the power to return the listener to a natural state of wellbeing. It can soften the emotions and dissolve tension in the body and mind.

The rhythmic component of music is very organized and can assist in balancing auditory and perceptual processing, as well as fine and gross motor control. Playing music can provide multisensory stimulation that has an impact on our auditory, visual, kinesthetic and tactile senses. Using easy to play percussion instruments can assist individuals with profound disabilities find an accessible and enjoyable outlet for expressing their complex and often held in emotions. Participating in simple play-along exercises focused on a person’s ability allows an individual to succeed at something they enjoy. Regardless of a person’s level of musical understanding, everyone can use simple instruments to make music for personal pleasure. Also, joining a music play-along group can reduce the use of negative self stimulating activities and increase participation in enjoyable stimulation.

Music is a very effective means of creating rapport and encouraging self expression through matching guttural sounds, creating rhythmic sounds of speech, singing the tunes that people hum, making songs out of repetitive speech patterns. When working with pre-verbal individuals, simply matching their grunts and gurgles can lead to fostering important communication. Copy the vocal expressions of the participant and experiment with the sounds that are coming from the individual by creating a dialogue of sound.

Music can be very playful and elicit feelings of ease and satisfaction. Hearing music that is familiar from childhood can awaken a person’s sensory memory and connect an individual with the comfort and blessings of home. Nursery rhymes and simple melodies can be a strong connecting point to language and communication. Play music with or without a tape in the background, experiment with high, low and midrange tones; every tone creates a different kind of stimulation. Also, refer to the group as a band and have the participants take turns being the leader.

Clapping specific patterns and having the individual or group repeat the pattern is a good focusing and listening technique. Experimenting with the pitch, volume, and intonation of a song can have a positive impact on individuals that are hypersensitive to sounds.

Picking up percussion instruments and easily playing along with others to make music or sing can give a great sense of joy and accomplishment. Participating in these activities can also establish important building blocks to relationships and sense of community. With a ‘sing and play along’ group you can begin to develop listening skills; practice different rhythms choosing songs that are slow (three quarter time like a waltz) and up beat songs with a more lively pace. You can switch from playing at a medium volume, increase the volume, or switching again to play as quietly as possible. Alternatively, you can experiment with the speed by starting slowly, increasing the speed and then slowing down. All of these exercises will begin to teach some of the basic fundamental components of music and help to build listening skills, cooperation between the group, self esteem and great satisfaction.

Creating a choir for individuals that love to sing can be very rewarding and help to develop focus, teamwork, self esteem, discipline, and a sense of belonging. Performing at a variety of venues in your community is an effective way to raise awareness about the abilities of people with disabilities.

All of the suggested approaches to experimenting with sound and music encourage playful self expression, develop listening skills, make important links with others, are simple to follow, easy to participant in, and can be adapted to match the needs of adults and children with profound, moderate and mild disabilities.

Meditation

For the purposes of this paper, meditation is defined as emptying the mind of thoughts, or concentrating the mind on just one thing in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation, or relaxation. Relaxation is a process of making something less firm, rigid, or tight. States of relaxation trigger the parasympathetic nervous system which controls the body’s ability to restore wellness on all levels.

Meditation is a powerful tool that can address the complex relaxation needs of people with development disabilities; it can be used to help calm a person down when they are agitated, afraid, or angry. There is no single meditation that will work for everyone; therefore it is necessary to experiment to find one that is pleasing to the participant. Below are a variety of simple meditation techniques that can be adapted to every level of ability and disability. These techniques promote relaxation and awareness of thoughts, feelings, emotions and body sensations through breathing, focusing, gazing, guided imagery, and the use of mantras.

Simple Meditation Techniques

Use of Mantras

Repeat the same sound, word, or positive affirmation phrase over and over. For some individuals using this approach can take only a few minutes to achieve, where as others may need to stay with the process for up to 5 minutes before they experience a relaxation response.

Cleansing Breath

Meditation is a simple breathing technique that can be used to relieve acute stress. Instruct the participants to find a comfortable position either standing or sitting’ then take in a deep breath and on the exhalation let out a sound. This can be repeated as many times as needed to let go of the stress.

Matching Breath

These techniques can be used with people that are unable to follow instructions for breathing exercises. Simply start to breathe in a similar pattern to the individual you are caring for, once you have established the same breathing pattern slowly, one breath at a time, begin to expand the breathing. Once the breathing rhythm is matched, the person will automatically start to breathe more deeply. The matching technique could also be used to increase the heart rate; simply match the breathing then slowly one breath at a time increase the rate of the breathing.

Advanced Breathing

Instruct the individual to focus on their breathing encourage them to inhale and exhale slowly then add a counting component. Guide the person to inhale a breath to a count of three, then hold the breath for a count of three and exhale the breath to a count of three, or what ever length of breath is comfortable for the individual.

Focusing

Focusing is a technique that can be of great benefit when a person is highly agitated, instruct them to put their hand on their chest, to find their heart beat. This exercise will give the person something to focus their mind and become aware of their body. Often as the person concentrates their heart rate will automatically begin to slow down and return to normal.

Guided Imagery

Have the client sit comfortably in a chair or lay down (relaxation music may be used in the background); in a soothing slow voice guide the individual or group on a journey. You can create a journey that is the same for everyone or you can ask that everyone go to their favourite place and give general guidelines i.e. look at the light, the colors, are you sitting or standing, is there anyone there with you, etc. Again, experimentation and creativity are often your greatest guides. Guided meditation can also assist to relieve tension, anxiety, or pain. Start at the head or the feet and guide the person through their body; start by asking the person or group to tense an area of their body and then relax the area.

Gazing

This is another type of meditation that is easy to follow; this approach is appealing as it focuses on the individual without speaking. Gazing meditation can also be used to assist someone to move into a state of deep relaxation; simply pick an object in the room, or bring something specific into the room for this purpose, sit together and gaze at the object. You will notice that after a few minutes the gaze will soften and the breath and the body will follow this softening. Below is a case study of a spontaneous gazing meditation that had immediate and long term benefits for a Tamir participant.

Case Study

One of the gentlemen with whom I practice Snoezelen used to have a lot of tension around his eyes; he was tentative around people, hesitant and unsure of himself. He had a habit of staring at people or would stare at something that he wanted and wait for someone to comment on the object of his stare as a way of getting what he wanted.

During one of our early Snoezelen sessions I spontaneously greeted this individual in his stare. I engaged him in a gazing meditation with me. We sat across the room from one another gazing at each other for about 20 minutes. After that session the tension was gone from around his eyes and he started to use words to ask for what he wanted. His intense staring has never returned and we never did the gazing meditation again.

All of these meditation techniques encourage relaxation and can be shared with children or adults. These techniques can be especially beneficial when individuals are experiencing stress from a variety of sources, as preventative measures for wellness, and as enjoyable leisure activities.

Summary

All of the techniques and practices presented in this paper are easy to follow, and can be adapted to match the needs of people with profound, moderate and mild disabilities. Creating rapport is the critical first step while practicing any of the techniques. Rapport can be created through being respectful, greeting a person at their level of understanding and giving the individual as much control over the situation as possible. Participating in movement, music and meditation practices can provide endless hours of meaningful recreation and enjoyment. Through these activities, individuals you care for can have access to therapeutic benefits that are achievable, increase self esteem, encourage creativity, build relationships, and promote relaxation and well being on all levels. Movement, music and meditation practices can be a source of great pleasure at any time and will always bring about therapeutic benefit. The techniques presented in this paper can improve the quality of life for children and adults with developmental disabilities and encourage them to thrive in their environment and achieve greater inner peace.

Resources

Music Therapy, Remedial Music Making and Musical Activities
F W Schalkwijk

Music Therapy and People with Developmental Disabilities
By Rachel J. Peck, MT-BC

Exercise for Individuals with Developmental Disabilities
By Paul Spicer, QMRP

Beginner Workout for People with Developmental Disabilities
Ease into Fitness: IRIS Media Inc. 35 minute video

The Yoga Experience for People with Developmental Disabilities
By Mary Bryant, WARC

Matching and Mirroring
Changing Minds.org

How Rapport Can Help
By Clifford Mee

Craniosacral Therapy & Reiki

Energy-Based Modalities

Leah Smith, Certified Snoezelen Trainer, Reiki Master, Craniosacral Practitioner

Sensory processing impairments that are present from birth and follow a person through their life cycle can block the individual’s access to their innate abilities and sense of self. For these people the world can be a menagerie of disjointed and chaotic sensations that create relentless stress on the central nervous system.

At the base of all sensory imbalances is an under or over-functioning central nervous system. These imbalances wreak havoc on an individual’s ability to function within a normal range of abilities.

It is suggested that people who endure sensory processing imbalances gain therapeutic benefit from receiving non-invasive energy-based healing modalities such as Craniosacral Therapy and Reiki. These energy-based modalities seem to have an overall calming effect on the central nervous system. Regular opportunities for relaxation of the central nervous system can maximize the potential of the physiological, psychosocial and somato-emotional aspects of individuals with mild, moderate and complex disabilities.

Craniosacral Therapy

Dr. John E. Upledger, the physician featured in TIME magazine as one of America’s next wave of innovators, is celebrated for his development of Craniosacral Therapy – an innovative approach that releases tensions deep in the body to allow all body systems to self-correct. (The Upledger Institute, 2008)

Few structures in the body have as much influence over its ability to function properly as the brain and spinal cord. Additionally, few systems have as much impact on the brain and spinal cord as the soft tissues and fluid that surround and protect the brain and the spinal cord. They are referred to as the craniosacral system.

Daily, individuals are bombarded with stimuli that are confusing and overwhelming. This is especially challenging for our clients who have sensory processing issues. Over time these constant stressors cause the soft tissue to tighten, causing distortion in the craniosacral system and resulting in undue pressure on the brain and spinal cord. This undue pressure in turn adversely affects the performance of the central nervous system and can have a domino effect on all the other systems in the body.

The brain and spinal cord, two major components of the central nervous system, require a carefully controlled environment in order to develop and function optimally. The craniosacral system is largely responsible for providing this environment. It is a semi-closed hydraulic system partially made up of the bones in the cranium, face, spine and pelvis. These bones float in cerebral spinal fluid that moves up and down the dural tube in the center of the spinal column. (John E. Upledger & Jon D. Vredevoogd, 1990)

The bones in the skull are not static; they come together at suture lines in the cranium. Each bone or pair of bones is designed to move in a specific pattern of flexion and extension. This natural movement is called the craniosacral rhythm.

As an example the parietal bones at the top of the head move in a cycle of extension (expanding up towards the crown) and flexion (contracting towards thefeet). This subtle movement can be likened to the natural expanding and contracting of the rib cage as our lungs fill and empty as we breathe.

Anxiety, trauma, brain injuries, stress, and imbalances in sensory processing can disrupt the natural craniosacral rhythm. Following the above example of the movement of the parietal bones, the rhythm of the movement could be off, one of the parietal bones may be stuck in the flexion position towards the feet, or in the extension position towards the crown, resulting in a build- up of cerebral spinal fluid in the head.

Pressure in the head is a common, pervasive symptom that many people with complex disabilities experience on a daily basis. It is suggested that when attempting to balance the internal pressure, some individuals with disabilities might deliberately exert external pressure by hitting their head with their hand or with an object. This response can be misinterpreted as inappropriate behavior.

Using a light touch – no more than 5 grams of pressure (approximately the weight of a nickel) – a practitioner can palpate the pulses and rhythms in the body and evaluate the health of the craniosacral system. Then, using gentle non-invasive techniques, a practitioner can release restrictions and bring the craniosacral rhythm back into balance. Practice shows that restoring the balance automatically improves the function of the central nervous system. Often after only one session there can be a significant reduction in the frequency and severity of the build-up of cerebral spinal fluid in the head, and an overall calming effect on the central nervous system.

Individuals who are challenged by imbalances in the vestibular and proprioceptive systems can derive great benefit from adjustments to the craniosacral rhythm that is available through craniosacral therapy. Frequently, even after one treatment there can be marked improvement in the functioning of these two sensory systems.

Dr. Upledger established The Upledger Clinic in Palm Beach Gardens in 1985; more than 80% of the children who receive treatment there are challenged by some form of sensory integration deficit. The Upledger Clinic has a specialized treatment room for Sensory Integration Therapy. The room, which uses “playtime” for that purpose, is equipped with toys and tools designed to develop the neurological skills necessary to perform everyday functions.

Dr. Upledger investigated the effects of craniosacral therapy on autistic children in Michigan in the 1970s. He spent approximately six months each year for three years searching for etiological factors in autistic behavior. His research included physical examinations, hair analysis, blood analysis and craniosacral system evaluations.

His studies concluded that Craniosacral Therapy was beneficial in treating Autism. When it was used to restore the mobility of the craniosacral system, typically autistic behaviors – including head banging, thumb sucking, toe walking and self-mutilation were either alleviated or diminished. In 2000, Dr. Upledger presented his findings before a U.S. Government Reform Committee meeting on Autism. (The Upledger Institute, 2008)

Reiki – The Usui System of Natural Healing

The word Reiki is a combination of two Japanese words: Rei, which means “universal life force” and Ki, which is “energy.” Reiki was re-introduced to the world by the spiritual seeker Mikao Usui in the late 1800s. In the west Reiki is referred to as The Usui System of Natural Healing, in Japan it is called Usui Shiki Royho.

The Usui system of Natural Healing is multifaceted. It is a daily spiritual practice that has 3 main areas of focus: a relationship with universal life force energy, spiritual precepts to assist with mental discipline, and the practice of focusing energy through the hands for hands-on-care. Reiki is also an energy-based healing modality that is a recognized form of preventative health care and a viable form of treatment for disease, illness and injury.

“Reiki summons the power to bestow the simple pacification, called the Soothing Hand. It helps to pacify, heal, and soothe. It does not address the activity of healing in a direct manner. It addresses it indirectly by increasing the body’s energy, by relaxing the nervous tension in the body, and by pacifying the upsets and imbalances.” (Usui, 1919 )

Reiki is a non-invasive treatment that can bring about a natural state of relaxation for the recipient. Deep states of relaxation trigger the para-sympathetic nervous system, which activates the body’s intrinsic healing process.

Reiki is easy to learn, and is considered to be one of the simplest, most effective hands-on healing practices in the world. In order to practice Reiki effectively, it is not necessary to understand how the body functions or how the healing occurs. Rather it is assumed that the energy of Reiki has its own inherent wisdom and will always flow to areas of need in the body, mind, emotions and spirit, bringing about a desired state of homeostasis and restoring balance to the central nervous system.

This hands-on approach to relaxation and wellness can be applied with a light touch, a heavy touch, or above the body in the surrounding energy fields. A specific set of hand positions are usually given as a guide for doing formal Reiki treatments starting with the head, down the torso, the legs, the feet, and then down the back. The most common sensation from the hands of the practitioner is heat; the most common response is relaxation or an overall feeling of peace.

Reiki can also be applied anywhere on the body with no specific hand position in mind. It can be applied directly to areas where there are symptoms such as pain, stiffness, or anxiety. It can be shared very informally while engaging in a conversation or while the receiver is occupied with another activity. Reiki can also be applied for just a few minutes or a few moments at a time and still be effective and bring about a positive result.

It is suggested that Reiki can release the cause of disease in the body, mind, emotions and spirit. Often with only one treatment, Reiki can relieve the physical symptoms and emotional upset associated with stress, headaches, backaches, digestive disorders and general irritability. Most minor aches and pains seem to be relieved within just a few minutes.

Moreover, Reiki seems to be very effective as first aid for cuts, burns, and sprains. Because of its known ability to speed up the healing process, it is becoming more commonly used in medical institutions worldwide to help patients recover faster from injuries, illnesses, surgery and other medical procedures. Reiki treatments complement rather than interfere with allopathic or naturopathic treatments prescribed by physicians and naturopaths.

The use of Reiki has also been successful in treating a variety of chronic conditions. Frequently when someone is suffering from a chronic condition the overall vital life energy in the body becomes depleted. It is common for the Reiki treatments to initially restore the vital life energy in the body and then rebalance the chronic condition therefore requiring longer treatment over longer periods of time. Reiki has moved into the mainstream of complimentary approaches to healthcare. It is being taught in nursing schools, practiced in hospitals world wide, and has been studied by international institutes of health.

Case Study

When an individual is under extreme stress resulting in anxiety, their sensory system is overloaded and they are unable to balance their internal environment. As a result, the mind responds irrationally, and the person may think, say or do things that are out of character.

One participant that I treat in the Snoezelen room came in one day and talked about wanting to hurt herself. She said she was so stressed that she felt like doing something crazy. What she really wanted was to have the anxiety stop.

After a few minutes of applying Reiki to the places on her back where she was feeling anxious the participant started to relax and the tension in her body began to melt. After about ten minutes of receiving Reiki she commented on how the anxiety had stopped; she felt safe and had come back to her sense of self.

I often share Reiki with the participants that I take into the Snoezelen room. It is easy enough to do this while doing a few minutes of massage, or when a participant is in the swing, lying on the huddle cuddle pillow, or anytime that you are sitting close to one another. For some of the participants I serve, Reiki is a regular part of their treatment plan.

It is worth mentioning that sharing Reiki is not restricted to the flow of energy through the hands. Often people report an over all feeling of calm just by being in the presence of a Reiki Master or practitioner.

Testimonials

“My two sons, both diagnosed with Aspergers, NEVER go to bed without running around the house screaming as soon as I announce it. Just hours after their first Reiki treatment, when I said it was time for bed they just got up and went to bed.”  ~ M. Knutson – Hillsboro, OR

“A Certified Reiki Master since 1995, and mother of a young child with Aspergers, I began using Reiki on my daughter one day out of sheer frustration during the rumbling stage (the pre-cursor to an autistic rage) I tensed as I saw the storm brewing on her face and reached out to Reiki to calm me in the face of it. I hadn’t expected the result I got from my child. I felt not only myself grow calmer but felt her shift as well. Her muscles relaxed, she sighed and slumped against me, using her hands to motion to me to continue Reiki. Since that time, I’ve routinely included Reiki as a treatment for my daughter and other autistic clients not only during times of crisis but to improve sleep quality and quantity, reduce the number of rumblings and rages, decrease stress and anxiety during transitions and as a method of self-soothing.”  (Long, 2008)

Summary

Following is a summary of a few of the points mentioned in the article.

  • Energy based modalities relax a person from the inside out. Once the eternal environment is refreshed there is a natural increase in autonomy which heightens enjoyment and enhances quality of life.
  • It is a known fact that each individual will respond in their own way to the healing systems. As with all things, individual preferences may determine the enjoyment level for participants. For example we know that some people like a gentle, light touch while others prefer more pressure.
  • Craniosacral Therapy is a non-invasive technique that activates the body’s natural healing process. Used alone or in conjunction with Sensory Integration Therapy, it can create a foundation for improved neurological functioning, streamline cognitive processing, and assist with the integration of sensory information.
  • Reiki is gentle yet powerful, subtle yet effective. By eliciting an overall calming effect, it can alleviate some of the major symptoms experienced by people with autism and other developmental disabilities such as anxiety, fear, headaches, stomach aches, muscle tension and sleep disturbances. (Long, 2008)
  • A little bit of Reiki each day is a simple and effective way to manage daily stress and physical vitality. Reiki is an excellent form of preventative health care, and can also be used as intervention in First Aid situations.
  • Hands-on energy modalities can be an excellent conjunct to already existing treatment plans and are not intended to take the place of allopathic medicine or sensory integration therapy approaches.
  • Energy work can help to soothe the central nervous system, thereby assisting people with developmental disabilities to come back to their senses and return to a natural state of well being and relaxation.

Credits:

John E. Upledger, D. F., & Jon D. Vredevoogd, M. (1990). Craniosacral Therapy. Seattle, Washington: Eastland Press.
Long, R. M. (2008). History/ Hospital Use. Retrieved from http://www.reikiautism.com

The Upledger Institute, I. (2008). The Upledger Clinic. Retrieved July 28, 2009, from The Upledger Institute Usui, M. (1919, 03 19). Lecture to students. Tokyo, Japan.

Preventing Caregiver Burnout

Relaxation Techniques for Caregivers

Leah Smith, Certified Snoezelen Trainer, Reiki Master, Craniosacral Practitioner

While providing and promoting quality of life to others, many caregivers operate on the brink of burnout. A few minutes of self care can go a long way in renewing one’s sense of well being. In this article I will elaborate about the practice of various relaxation techniques of mindfulness, movement, and hands-on care. I will also take a common sense approach to how we can incorporate these techniques into our daily life. These easy-to-follow approaches to relaxation can be practiced within a few minutes during a break at work, during everyday life situations as they occur, or in the privacy of our own home.

This article is written with the goal of providing caregivers, whether parents or staff, with some tools that will enable them not to get to the point of burnout. The techniques presented here can be practiced alone, shared with family and friends, or extended to the people that are cared for and served. Even if one chooses not to practice these techniques with others; engaging in relaxation techniques by oneself will assist any person in general and caregivers in particular to be more focused, grounded, and energized. Relaxation techniques are great prevention for burnout, especially when used daily. They can refresh care givers vital life energy and renew their sense of purpose, which will in turn have a positive impact on the people they care for.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness consists of being present and paying attention in the moment. The practice of mindfulness is about allowing oneself to be totally absorbed in an activity without thoughts of the past, thoughts of the future or opinions about one’s performance. Practicing mindfulness can help us manage daily stress, increase our capacity for enjoyment, and improve physical and emotional health. (Gunaratana, 1993)
A variety of straightforward focusing techniques such as letting go of worry, affirmations, watching the breath, giving thanks, and guided imagery are techniques of mindfulness that are designed to relax the mind, promote mental discipline, stimulate mental clarity, and restore a positive outlook.

A straightforward approach to managing worry is to let go of the content or subject of our worrying. When we become aware that we are worrying, we need to switch our focus and affirm what it is that we want to happen rather than worrying about what it is that we don’t want to happen. It takes a commitment on our part, a willingness to let go of the content and switch our focus to what we want. With a little bit of practice, our mind will get the message that we are no longer willing to worry and start to give us thoughts that are aligned with achieving our goals.

Meditation is a simple and effective way to practice mindfulness. One very simple breathing technique that can be used to relieve stress is called the Cleansing Breath. Find a comfortable position either standing, sitting, or lying down. Take a deep breath and on the exhalation let out a sound. The Cleansing Breath process can be done once or repeated several times in a row to let go of stress from the mind, body and emotions.
Watching The Breath is an ancient practice of mindfulness. Sit comfortably, close your eyes and put your hands in your lap or by your side – whatever is most comfortable. Bring your attention to your breath, feel the inhalation, feel the exhalation, feel the flow of air in the space between your nose and your upper lip. This technique keeps the mind busy with a very specific task which can have a powerful effect on the mental static that is often created by extraneous thoughts. Relaxing the mind can have a domino effect on the body: while watching the breath it is common to move into deep relaxation.

Giving thanks is another effective approach to well being. It is natural to want to strive and often we are so focused on achieving goals and reaching for what we want, or need, that we forget to give thanks for what we have. Gratitude brings a joyous attitude and allows us to access a source of wisdom beyond what we think may be possible. Often in counting your blessings you are able to get a better perspective on your life and recognize hidden resources that are available to help you to manage seemingly insurmountable tasks and challenges.

Guided Imagery can be an effective way of clearing the mind, releasing tension in the body, or creating the perfect image of what you want for yourself. Guided meditations can also help to relieve pain, tension, and anxiety. You can use this technique for yourself, for another, or with a group. Starting at your feet, tense your feet as much as you can for a few seconds then let your feet relax. Allow yourself to linger in the relaxation phase before moving up to the knees. Repeat the same process, tense your knees for a few seconds and then let your knees relax. You can use this technique to go through your whole body, or you can do a shortened version and focus specifically on the areas where you commonly hold tension. It is natural for a gentle softening to come over your entire body; you may even find yourself drifting away into a state of stillness – a state of “no mind.”

The Skeleton Dance

Movement is essential to good health and well being. It can renew the vital life energy in the body and stimulate the neurotransmitters in the brain that send messages to the various systems responsible for respiration, digestion, circulation, immunity and motor control. Movement stimulates brain chemistry, facilitates healthy functioning, and encourages the body to perform as a whole unit rather than individual parts.

In our most natural state we are relaxed, and in harmony with our true nature. When there is an accumulation of stress our body is held in an unnatural way. This lack of fluid relationship within our body can result in numerous imbalances which if not addressed can lead to serious health concerns.

This light-hearted approach to movement uses principles of perpetual motion and relaxation to free up the skeleton. Particular attention is given to lubricating the joints, shaking out the limbs, and laying down the bones. All of these techniques help release tension, increase flexibility, encourage free self-expression and renew the vital life energy in the body.

The Skeleton Dance initially focuses on paying attention to the following areas in the body: the four limbs, the three pivot points throughout the spine, and the joints. First we establish the four quadrants in the body which consist of the left arm and left upper torso, the right arm and right upper torso, the left leg and left lower torso, and the right leg and right lower torso.

Consideration is also given to the three pivot points throughout the spine located in the neck, behind the heart, and behind the belly button. The cervical spine in the neck is just below the first and second vertebrae connected to the brainstem and covers the area from the base of the skull to the upper back. The cervical spine allows the neck to move in multiple directions. The thoracic spine is behind the heart between the shoulder blades and allows the upper body to twist, turn and tilt in multiple directions. The lumbar spine, which is behind the belly button, allows the lower body to twist, turn and bend in multiple directions. These three pivot points in the spine also allow for independent and interdependent movement between the upper, mid and lower body.

The four quadrants in conjunction with the three pivot points throughout the spine hold the keys to movement and flexibility in the body. When the four quadrants and three points are lubricated, we experience an increase of freedom in the skeleton which allows the limbs to move and swing with ease. When we practice the Skeleton Dance, there is a natural lightness of being that comes over the body.

The Skeleton Dance is a free-flowing, non-directive, light-hearted approach to movement and fitness. We can do it standing up, sitting, or lying down. We can totally mobilize our joints or totally immobilize our joints depending on what we feel our body needs in the moment. The purpose of The Skeleton Dance is to limber up the skeleton and our vital life energy through moment.

Put your favourite music on and simply let your body move playfully. There are no specific patterns, sequences or movements to follow. Let your skeleton dance. Let your limbs hang like a rag doll, bend forward and allow your upper torso to hang and sway back and forth and from side to side. Explore the full range of motion in the pivot points, allow your torso to twist, turn, bend, and flop. Shake your joints; allow them to swing, move, slide and flow in as many directions and angles as possible. Each time you do the Skeleton Dance allow yourself to explore the full range of motion in your joints. Allow yourself to experiment with the speed and the force behind the movement switching from fast to slow, from gentle to robust. Allow yourself to explore cycles of perpetual movement balanced with letting your body become totally relaxed and still. (Smith, 1993)

It is important that physical activity be enjoyable and tailored to each individual’s needs and abilities. The Skeleton Dance is self-adjusting and therefore can match the fitness and flexibility levels of everyone, thereby fostering success and increasing self-esteem.

The Skeleton Dance can be practiced within a few minutes to loosen up your bones or, when time permits as a total fitness and relaxation session lasting thirty minutes to an hour. A regular practice of The Skeleton Dance will increase your awareness of the free flowing nature of the skeleton and encourage you to move from your skeleton during ordinary daily activities like walking, standing up, sitting down, bending over, or reaching for something. With this increased awareness in the way that you move, watching the skeleton can become another way to practice mindfulness.

Hands-On Care

Focusing energy through the hands is an innate ability common to all people. We instinctively use our hands to comfort ourselves or others in pain or distress. Receiving and / or giving hands-on care promotes relaxation for the giver and the receiver. States of deep relaxation trigger the para-sympathetic nervous system, which awakens the body’s natural ability to restore balance on all levels. (Hammond, 1973)

Approach the body with your hands flat and you fingers together but relaxed. Use a firm but gentle touch as if you are hugging the body with your hands. There are no specific hand positions that you need to focus on, as healing energy has its own wisdom and will flow where it is needed in the body.

A general guideline would be to stay in each area for a minimum of 3-5 minutes. As you practice hands-on care you will become familiar with energy flows and cycles. You might begin to feel heat, then it will get stronger and eventually it will dissipate and the cycle will be complete. It is good practice to wait until you feel the completion of a cycle of energy before moving to another area of the body.

There is no concern with moving your hands too soon or staying too long. The energy will continue to work in an area even after you have moved your hands. As well, when an area of the body has received what it needs, the energy will automatically flow to another area of need in the body. At times you may feel that you want to stay longer in a certain area, trust your instincts and move from one place to another when it feels right to you.

The most common sensation is heat, yet an absence of heat doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. At times the energy may feel cool or have no temperature associated with it. Other common sensations include tingling, pulsing, rocking, or waves of energy. Some individuals may feel little or nothing in their hands yet will report an overall calming effect.

Generally speaking relaxation can occur within just a few moments of placing your hands on yourself or another person. Acute symptoms can often be soothed within 10 or 15 minutes. With conditions that are more chronic in nature it is common to feel some relief within a few moments; however; for lasting results with chronic conditions, care may be needed over a longer period of time.

For the purposes of what we are learning here, energy flows in two directions: from Universal Intelligence into you, or into another, if you are giving care to someone else. The other direction would be energy flowing out of yourself or the person that you are caring for. This is not necessarily negative or bad energy and will not affect you adversely. There is nothing you need to do to assist or help to move the energy. The body is wise and knows how to heal; sometimes energy is being released from the body that is no longer needed. Sometimes excess energy builds up in the body in the form of stress in the muscles, or tissue. Sometimes there is excess mental or emotional energy in the body and when hands-on care is applied, the individual begins to relax and the excess energy automatically starts to flow out of the body.

Even when you only have a few minutes, remember a little bit of hands-on care can go a long way in helping you to relax, clear the mind, soothe the emotions and rejuvenate the body. A daily practice of hands-on care is a wonderful way to prevent burnout. The positive effects are ongoing and will accumulate over time.

Practical Applications for Daily Life

Taking a few wellness breaks throughout the day is a great way to prevent burnout.

  • Mindfulness techniques can help you stay focused and grounded.
  • When you become aware that you are worrying, you can switch your focus.
  • Affirming what you want helps you trust that what you need is on its way.
  • Breathing techniques can quickly refocus and re-energize you.
  • A few minutes of The Skeleton Dance can help you let go of tension in the body.
  • Taking a movement break can revitalize your energy and your ideas.
  • Placing your hands on your thighs can help you focus while listening to others.
  • A few minutes of hands-on care can gently calm yourself or others.
  • A few minutes of hands-on care can resolve minor aches and pains.
  • Relaxations techniques can increase your overall sense of well being.

Summary

Relaxation techniques are an effective way to manage daily stress and re-balance your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy. Whatever your chosen lifestyles, all of these relaxation techniques are easy to learn, simple to practice, and can be applied in everyday situations.

It all starts in the mind. Mindfulness is a huge component to accessing well being. A practice of mindfulness can help us switch the focus of our thinking and increase our enjoyment with ourselves and others.
Our thoughts have an enormous effect on our body. When we are free flowing and expressive, the joints move with ease accompanied by a lightness of being. When we are tense and held back, the joints contract and press too closely to one another thus creating stiffness and heaviness in the body.

Staying active is great preventative care; it leads to increased heart health and keeps the immune system in top shape. Through regular movement the body becomes agile, and the vital life energy is constantly renewed. Other benefits include an increase in endorphins which boost the metabolism and allow for a decrease in stress and an increase in health.

Hands-on care is a quick and effective way to regroup and come back to your senses. Even within a few minutes your breathing slows down, your thinking slows down, your body naturally relaxes and you are able to begin anew. Hands-on care can be applied anywhere on the body, in any situation, when time is limited to a few minutes or few moments hands-on care can still have a positive effect.

These relaxation techniques are very practical and can be incorporated into your daily life. In addition to helping you prevent burnout, you can also use relaxation techniques one on one or in a group with the people you care for.

Gunaratana, V. B. (1993). Mindfulness in Plain English. Sommerville, MA: Wisdom Publications.
Hammond, S. (1973). We Are All Healers. New York: Harper & Row.
Smith, L. (1993, December). Bone Medicine Workshop. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
University, Duke. (2004). Ergonomics Division. Retrieved from Duke University
School of Medicine:
www.safety.duke.edu

A Sacred Path of Healing for the Living and Dying

Love and Compassion:

A Sacred Path of Healing for the Living and Dying

According to an old Hindu legend, there was a time when all men were gods, but they so abused their divinity that Brahma, the Chief God, decided to take man’s divinity away from him and hide it where they would never again find it. Where to hide it became the big question.

When the lesser gods were called into council to consider this question, they said, “We will bury man’s divinity deep in the earth.” But Brahma said, “No that will not do, for man will dig deep into the earth and find it.” Then the lesser gods said , “Well, we will sink his divinity into the deepest ocean.” But again Brahma replied, “No, not there for man will learn to dive into the deepest waters, will search out the ocean bed and will find it.”

Then the lesser gods said, “We will take it to the top of the highest mountain and there hide it.” But again Brahma replied, “No, for man will eventually climb every high mountain on earth. He will be sure to some day find it and take it up again for himself.” Then the lesser gods gave up and concluded, “We do not know where to hide it, for it seems that there is no place on the earth or in the sea that man will not eventually reach.” Then Brahma said, “Here is what we will do with man’s divinity. We will hide man’s divinity deep down inside man himself, for he will never think to look for it there.” Ever since then, the legend concludes, man has been going up and down the earth, climbing, digging, diving, exploring, searching for something that is already within himself.

The path of love and compassion is an exploration into this divinity that is deep down within us. Thus, for some seekers, their search for truth has led them to the practice of meditation. Others have found truth through explorations in outer space. The same divinity that lives inside of us is present in grand abundance in the world around us, as all things are created from that same source of love. Nature, animals, and babies, are very clear teachers of unconditional love. The innate process of homeostasis is constantly bringing all living organisms back to a place of balance. No one is exempt, as all living things are governed by the same natural organic cycles of ebb and flow.

Webster’s dictionary tells us that “to heal is to return to a natural state of wholeness.” In our natural state we are relaxed, and we know that we are connected to love. I believe that love is the most abundant force in the universe.

Hawayo Takata, one of the Grand Masters of Reiki, refers to a paradox in life, and what can happen when our focus moves away from our divine nature.

“Conflict arises only when individuals are out of harmony with divine nature. It is a paradox: all are joined as one being within the creator itself, yet each particle of that one being must find its own way in its own time.”

It is a challenge and a privilege to write on the subject of love and compassion as it relates to spirituality and palliative care. There are as many approaches to and myths about spirituality as there are people. One of the fundamental myths is the idea that some people are spiritual and some are not. The major principle of free will in our lives allows people to choose to not engage with that aspect of themselves. However, this does not change the existence of spirit. Everyone is made of an equal portion of spirit.

Some people perceive that they are human beings having the occasional spiritual experience, and for others they are spirits embarking on a human adventure. It is all a question of perspective, and where one places his focus. Is the glass half full, or half empty? I quite enjoy my son Avi’s response to this, “it depends on whether you are filling the glass or drinking from it.” When we are afraid we feel limited and struggle to survive. When we trust we feel love and enjoy the abundance and celebration of life.

Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen, shares with us an interaction that Joseph Campbell had with one of his workshop participants.

“Where is your deepest sense of harmony and bliss?”
“I don’t know, I am not sure”, was the reply.
“Find it”, Campbell sang back, “and then, follow it.”

Dr. Bolen goes on to say that,

“Campbell has often been quoted and sometimes criticized for saying, “Follow your bliss,” by people who did not understand what it might mean to do so. Far from irresponsibly moving from one hedonistic pleasure to another, it was advice ideally leading to a lifetime’s commitment – as it did for Joseph Campbell when he followed his love of mythology.”

Healthy living comes when we welcome love into our daily lives by participating in activities that are inspiring and illicit a joyous response. Life affirming activities mobilize the immune system, and increase the flow of vital life energy in our body and our cells, thus enhancing and extending life.

Caring for the terminally ill has become a way of “following my bliss.” There is something so authentic when sharing with those that are living with terminal illness. The false pretenses that can be so much a part of our socialized world seem to drop away when faced with the real issues of living and dying. There is tremendous guidance available when we open our hearts to another, bringing love and deep relaxation through our compassionate presence.

At a lecture in Berkeley California, Dr. Bernie Siegel, was sharing with those gathered about his experience of caring for people who are dying. He witnessed many things while holding the hands of dying patients. While watching the wasting away of the human form, he said, “before the time of death I feel as if I a sitting with a Great Saint.”

For some, terminal illness is a spiritual path. Dr. Bernie Siegel witnessed a metamorphosis occurring for the dying patients that he befriended, as they found their way to accept their circumstances and yield to their journey of dying. He watched the spirit of these people rise to the surface of their being, and greet him in a place of love and acceptance.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of caring for Uma, a friend and yoga instructor. Uma choose a path of conscious dying in response to the terminal cancer that was growing in her belly. She gathered together a group of friends from her healing community because she wanted and needed support. She did not want to die alone.

When I first began giving Uma Reiki treatments, I shared with her the above thoughts of Dr. Bernie Siegel and what he had experienced. When Uma heard this story she looked at me in total disbelief. Ten months later, on the eve of Uma’s death I again related Dr. Siegel’s story. After living the process of preparing for her own dying, Uma understood the wisdom of the story. She had experienced this same metamorphosis.

Uma found her ultimate yoga posture. She lay her body down into her death, for her this process became her spiritual path of love and acceptance.

Through Reiki, I have been blessed with the opportunity to partner with many people who have died from terminal illness. Many of the folks that I have cared for have reported that they are grateful for their disease. Their gratitude comes from the many blessings and opportunities for healing that they have experienced as a result of learning to co-habit with terminal illness. Many report having being healed, even as the disease process took over and shut down the functioning of their organs and their vital life energy.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross assures us that situations in our daily living will always bring us opportunities to open our hearts and experience love directly.

“You do not need special gurus or babas to grow. Teachers come in all forms and disguises, children, the terminally ill, a cleaning woman. All the theories and science in the world could not help anyone as much as one human unafraid to open his heart to another.”

I have heard, felt and witnessed this same revelation again and again as I open myself and see love not as something that we posses but rather, a divine gift that is abundantly available through our essence in every moment.

Several years ago, one of my Reiki clients came to me for regular Reiki treatments. Every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Dan Price would climb the stairs into the treatment room and onto the Reiki table.

After the first treatment we talked at some length about AIDS, death, healing, sexuality and spirituality. We felt that the greatest gift for any person (living or dying) would be the peace that comes from love and acceptance of self.

Below is a paragraph taken from an essay written by Dan Price. In the essay he shares about his experience of receiving Reiki Treatments.

“As treatments progressed I stopped expecting outcomes and trying to preordain what was being healed. Each treatment was its own reward with the Rei accomplishing its quiet work of releasing, restoring, energising, purifying, loving and empowering me. I have felt such tenderness from my treatments, more tenderness than I have known all the days of my life … the Rei is a most loving force.”

We talked about various spiritual paths, and noticed that in the foundation of all practices, was a fundamental understanding of the importance of love and acceptance. We began to greet one another from a place of no disease. We did not resist the HIV virus, but rather approached it as one of the many vibrations in the body. It was in this way that Dan could learn how to co-habit with it. Through daily spiritual practice we can find compassion for ourselves and others. The journey of living with a terminal illness offers that same opportunity.

In her book, Lessons of Love, Melody Beatte includes an account of Joseph Campbell’s ideas about loving God, and loving one another.

…”that evening we watched Joseph Campbell on Television. He talks about God, about loving God. He says that when we are open to loving a person, whether that person is a spouse, friend, or child, we open our hearts to loving God. He say’s, when we let someone love us, we’re opening our hearts to God’s love. He says the acts are the same.”

In caring for Uma and Dan, I witnessed the transformative powers of love. We greeted one another with unconditional acceptance and were blessed with many gifts of peace. During Reiki treatments we shared sacred touch, and felt nourished by the presence of the beloved in ourselves and each other.

“There are no guarantees in life, except that everyone faces struggles. It is how we learn. Some face struggle from the moment they are born. They are the most special of all people, requiring the most care and compassion and reminding us that love is the sole purpose of life.”

There is an ideology about healing that suggests that healing is about getting rid of things, solving things, and fixing things. Reiki has taught me that, we begin to heal when we allow things to be exactly the way that there are. When there is pain, there is an indication that an aspect of ourselves is hurting and requires our care. When we understand that pain is a gift, then, when we are hurting it becomes more possible to find ways to be more accepting and compassionate towards ourselves. When we accept things the way that they are with no resistance, we are creating the perfect internal atmosphere in which healing can occur. A natural outcome of acceptance is release.

Unconditional love is easy in theory yet challenging in practice. As a mental exercise it is easy enough to think that unconditional loves means, to love without any conditions. To love unconditionally is to love under all conditions. Love is unconditional when it is given freely, and not dependent on the circumstances, or the outcome achieved.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said,

“The only thing that I know that heals people is unconditional love.”

There are some conditions in life that can be very difficult to embrace. For some, it is a huge challenge to love someone that is disfigured, as with tumors or severe damage through accident or injury, or when people are born with developmental deformities. As well, it can be especially challenging to love unconditionally when the choices of another go against our personal ethics, such as, religious differences, gender preferences, or advanced directives.

Many years ago while caring for my son as he recovered from an extreme accident with two dogs, I had an encounter with the blessings of unconditional love. Each day my son asked me to kiss his wounds and blow on them as he found this action very soothing. Bringing my face close to his wounds I felt guided to recognize that I could love his body whole by approaching his healthy flesh and his wounds as precious and allowing for the restorative powers of love.

A few years ago I was called to care for a man that was dying of throat cancer. Russ had many large tumors that left him quite disfigured. When I first went to his home I was unaware of his physical condition. After I recovered from the initial impact of seeing his tumors, I felt an ease and a beautiful softening in my heart. Within about ten minutes I found such beauty and grace in this man, that I could embrace the tumors and enter a deep place of love and relaxation with him. Russ was always grateful for the care that I gave him, and the authenticity of love and acceptance that we shared so freely.

There is a beauty in being authentic that acknowledges the presence of grace. This guides us on the journey of allowing unconditional love to show us the divine in all things. These experiences encourage us to greet another, knowing that they are indeed a personification of the beloved.

Whether we are healing to live more fully, or healing to die more completely, I believe, love is the healer. Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen, shares her experience of visiting Mother Teresa’s Hospice for the Destitute and Dying in Calcutta, India.

“They had been brought to the Hospice so that once before they died, they could experience total and unconditional love, not through someone who knew them personally, but through the heart, soul, touch, and eyes of the sisters and volunteers who saw the beauty of their souls, even despite the wretched condition of their bodies and often their lives. They were lying on their pallets, and in the very air of serenity, they breathed in something ineffable and soul comforting. I wonder, might this be a glimpse of what we come here to experience in this human life? Unconditional love that warms the heart and soul, love that is divine and yet humanly given and received? A deep peace that comes from being held in invisible arms, a feeling of being beloved that is initiated by loving human touch? At the threshold of death, to trust and not be fearful?”

It is through this experience of grace that we are called upon to be messengers for love. We learn to surrender our personal self so that we may receive and extend the gifts of love and compassion to ourselves and to others.

Often our human struggles are related to love in some way. Melody Beattie puts it very clearly by saying that,

“Love will never keep us from our destiny; it will lead us into it.”

From her relationships with animals, Susan McElroy encourages us to be compassionate with ourselves as we journey on the path of peace and healing.

“Another element of peace I have learned from compassionate thinkers like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Rabbi Kushner, and Stephen Levine is that one need not be perfect to achieve some measure of peace. These modern day sages reflect an acceptance of their own inner frustrations that inspired me to be a bit more accepting of my own. For example Kubler-Ross, a tireless worker on behalf of the terminally ill and dying, feels helpless to stop her chain smoking habit. Rabbi Kushner admits to being angry and sad at the unfairness of life even though he has written a best selling book about coming to terms with “Why Bad things Happen To Good People.” Conversely, the Dali Lama has achieved a sense of inner peace in the face of world suffering, but admits that he gets very upset and uses “harsh words” when staff members flub up on the job. Stephen Levine who has been meditating for decades on loving kindness still gets angry and frustrated over the cruelty in the world. There are innumerable roads to peace, and we need not be flawless in our travel on any of them! Honest and vulnerable these wise people show us that peace is a journey, a welcoming oasis, but rarely a permanent daily residence for most of us.”

Susan McElroy helps us to realize that peace, love, and harmony are not static stagnant states. It is a myth to think that one day when you have struggled hard enough, done all of the right things, had the right thoughts, only then will you have earned the right to experience bliss. Quite the contrary, love and bliss are our birthright and each moment is a new opportunity to feel the presence of love through the years. Love is indeed a journey not a destination. Love and compassion are a way of life, a state of being, not an ultimate graduation. It is through our commitment to being honest withourselves especially when we’re vulnerable, that we can accept when we are out of balance and open to the total healing powers of love.

Dr. Pamela Kircher, speaks very strongly about a time of awakening to love for humanity and the gifts that will come as a result of this awakening, as she states,

“When we are no longer hoarding skills and resources for ourselves, there will be enough to go around. When we understand that we are here to learn to be more loving, we will require fewer physical objects and will prefer life enhancing activities to expensive entertainment that keeps us from being present with ourselves. Our greatest joy will be in being fully present with ourselves and with other people. Our own interests will no longer be more paramount to us than the interests of our neighbors. We will then have returned to the garden of Eden, and it will be a garden of spirit who’s main crop is love.”

Some people feel that they have come to earth to seed the planet with unconditional love so that the earth may return to her natural state, being one of a lush beauty that was once the Garden Of Eden. Through exchanges with the terminally ill, Kubler-Ross and Bolen are quite emphatic about their recognition of the healing powers of unconditional love. This seems to be a common thread amongst those of us who feel called upon to care for the dying. There is grace in death, and it can be found through the gifts of unconditional love. Through dying, many people have learned to be more present and fully alive in their living.

Kubler-Ross agrees with Bolen in that, love is the strongest medicine. Many caregivers and writers are reporting the same thing. It seems that, the peace that is available through unconditional love and acceptance towards self and others, has started to become common knowledge in our collective consciousness. Many people have experienced the healing power of love.

Campbell says, “follow your bliss”. Dr. Kubler-Ross says, “Do what you love”, Dr. Bolen says, “I think we came here to learn about unconditional love. Melody Beatte says, Love will never keep you from your destiny, it will lead you to it.”

I have watched people find their way into death through the grace of spiritual love, and through unconditional love received from their soul, their care givers, and their families. I have watched people create a mandala for their dying, while entering into their own inner life review as they lay in bed, and allow their disease process to take them into their individual heavenly sojourn.

I take this opportunity to honor the life and immense contribution of a woman who has been a pioneer in the field of palliative care, and a companion on the path of love and acceptance, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

“All of us, when we were born from the source, which I call God, were endowed with a facet of divinity. That is what gives us knowledge of our immortality.
You should live until your die. No one dies alone.
Everyone is loved beyond comprehension.
Everyone is blessed and guided.
It is very important that you do only what you love to do. You may be poor, you may go hungry, you may live in a shabby place, but you will totally live. And at the end of your days, you will bless your life because you have done what you came here to do. The hardest lesson to learn is unconditional love.
Dying is nothing to fear. It can be the most wonderful experience of your life. It all depends on how you have lived.
Death is but a transition from this life to another existence where there is no more pain and anguish.
Everything is bearable when there is love.
My wish is that you try to give more people more love.
The only thing that lives forever is love.”

Closing the Circle

Capital Xtra Columist: Leah Smith March 16, 2001

This past month I assisted a dear friend and client come to the acceptance of the completion of his life-cycle on the Earth. I helped Leonard do his life review, create a living will, and ultimately have a peaceful passage into Heaven.

In the early 90’s, I started offering special Reiki Classes to people whose lives were affected by the HIV virus. Through my treating practice, I have had the opportunity to treat many people who have since died from complications related to HIV. In each situation, the individual has shared with me that they have been healed. Even though they knew that they were not cured, there was an experience of healing. Those that I have cared for have expressed gratitude for their disease. They report that the diagnosis of a terminal illness helped them to appreciate and value the love shared with friends, family, and their individual connection to Creation.

In my first experience of caring for a friend with HIV, we were able to sit together in a place of “no disease”. Norm said that this helped him to see HIV as one of the many vibrations in his body, which allowed him to know himself as being much more than the disease.

My friend Dan came to me for regular Reiki Treatments. Dan was a yoga teacher and was well established on his spiritual path. During our initial conversations, we talked about the essence of a spiritual path being one of love and acceptance of self. Then we agreed that the ultimate gift a person could take with them when they leave the Earth is a sense of love and acceptance of self for the contribution made to the world simply by having lived. In an article that Dan wrote for his 3rd Degree Reiki Apprenticeship Program, he acknowledged that what he received during Reiki treatments was the most tenderness he had known in his whole life.

A friend Josee said that she would miss watching her daughter grow up. She often said that she would miss the love that we shared and teased about wanting to take me to Heaven with her. I assured her that the experience of the love from Spirit was at least 100 fold more than what she had known on the Earth. Some people come to Reiki to be healed so they can die peacefully, and others come to be healed so that they can live fully.

A dear friend Brad, who came 10 years ago to learn Reiki, had been HIV for 6 years. Brad’s daily spiritual practice of Reiki helped him to let go of worry and fear so that he could show up for his life and not for his fear. He is indeed “positively positive”, and lives a life of abundance on all levels. He is a clear teacher of the continual assurance of love, and says that the success of our lives comes from our sense of connectedness to all things. A few years ago he enrolled in a medical drug trial study, and after 16 years of being HIV positive, the virus is now totally undetectable in his body, mind, and spirit.

My most recent experience with Leonard prompts me to encourage all of us to open to the grace and dignity that can be part of the dying process. People need to speak about dying, especially the dying. Through our conversations, Leonard was able to refuse invasive treatment. He said, “My life has come full circle, I don’t want any heroics to keep me alive.” Leonard was able to come to the acceptance of his own fate, and make choices that allowed him to live his final days with dignity.

To openly participate in a life review, is a compassionate way to honor the organic cycles of living and dying. It is so valuable to speak about end of life issues and help to heal the fear and morbid energy that so often surrounds death. Without these conversations with our loved one’s, and/or making our own transition preferences known, we can find ourselves in a situation that we would not want. Being open about end of life issues and supporting one another in creating a living will can make a huge difference. Fortunately we live in a society where people can live and die with dignity. We have the right to choose who will care for us and how we will be cared for in our dying days.

It is not everyone’s calling to help people through their dying days; however, it is clear to me that we have what we need inside of ourselves to live the life that we came to live. I encourage all of us to listen closely within so that we can hear the inner prompting that calls us towards our life’s purpose and the fulfillment of our soul’s journey on the Earth.

Reiki: Prevention and Intervention

Reiki is an individual practice of “energy focus.” Anyone can learn how to focus this loving energy through their hands in order to bring care to themselves or others. Reiki is gentle yet powerful, subtle yet effective.

The simple daily practice of Reiki has three main areas of focus:

  • A relationship with creative life energy.
  • Guidelines for healthy living.
  • Hands on care, for yourself.

Each of us is inherently connected to a creative life energy that is always available. It is possible to learn how to focus in ourselves and allow the flow of this energy through us to bring intervention into all aspects of daily life.

Guidelines for Healthy Living:

  • Just for today, I will let go of worry
  • Just for today, I will let go of anger
  • I honor my parents, teachers, and elders
  • I earn my living honestly
  • I show gratitude to every living thing

These guidelines for healthy living can assist us in being more aware of our thoughts, and in cultivating mental discipline. Mindfulness can help to ease mental obsessions that often contribute to stress, anxiety, and illness.

In the Reiki practice we take time every day to treat ourselves. This form of hands on care is very gentle and soothing. This can be done while laying down peacefully in bed, much like meditation. A little bit of Reiki every day is an effective form of preventative care and can bring relief to any existing condition.

The benefits of this practice can be invaluable for persons dealing with: acute, chronic, or terminal conditions, including post traumatic stress and grief. The reasons for this are many. Reiki can speed up the healing process and release the cause of discomfort in the body, mind, and emotions. As well, relaxation can soothe the immune system, ease a sense of helplessness and encourage a good relationship with self.

The practice of Reiki can accelerate healing and help to bring about a natural state of inner peace and relaxation. The benefits multiply as you continue to practice. Many people report an increased sense of well being and compassion for themselves and others.

Receiving Reiki is a deeply relaxing experience. Deep states of relaxation trigger the Para-Sympathetic Nervous System and awaken the body’s natural ability to heal by restoring balance on all levels.

For some Reiki is physical, for some Reiki is spiritual, and for others it is both. Reiki can restore balance and harmony, increase physical strength and vitality, and enhance clarity of mind and purpose. Reiki enhances a free flowing emotional expression and encourages spiritual growth, wholeness and wellness.

A little bit of Reiki each day, is a simple and effective way to manage daily stress and physical vitality. Problems that are more chronic in nature will require treatment over a longer period of time. Reiki is an excellent form of preventative care, and can also be used as intervention in First Aid situations.

Anyone can learn Reiki. In order to practice Reiki effectively, it is not necessary to understand how the body functions or how the healing occurs. A desire to be well and an openness to allow this creative life energy to flow through you are often your most useful guides.